The biggest myth about life in your 20s is that you’re mature enough to go for ‘casual drinks’. These fabled outings see us all end up on our arses at 5am, wondering just how we ended up quite so wankered. Casual drinks always seem to be followed by some life re-evaluation, and the vow to not break the ‘three drink rule’ next time (you can do it baby).
The only thing casual about casual drinks is your outfit; unless you’ve come to terms with the fact that there will nothing casual about your evening, its highly likely that you’ll end up in the shittiest local club wearing your Ugg boots and a jumper, having applied a hasty slick of lipgloss after the fourth or fifth drink.
The most treacherous time on a ‘casual drinks’ night out, is undoubtedly the precious moments between the second and third drinks. You’ve seen off two delicious Long Islands, or a couple of vino spritzers, and your resolve to be home before 10 is seeming like a bit of a shit idea. Should you pack it in and go home? Have you really had enough fun in just two drinks’ time?
The answer is nearly always no.
Most of us are in a pretty sweet place after the second drink of the evening. We’re comfortably tipsy, but not flat-out shitfaced. It’s a lovely time to nestle down and forget all thoughts of heading home; why the fuck did you choose to keep it casual in the first place?
Here’s why it all goes downhill after that second drink:
- It’s never just one more. Never. “I’ll just stay for one more” inevitably leads to a early morning breakfast of Kebab and pizza (and chips) on the floor in the street 14 drinks later.
- Your inhibitions are teetering on the edge after drink number two – it’s the third that will throw you forward into night-out mode, checking your bag to make sure you’ve brought your make-up bag with you (of course you’ve got your make-up bag with you, you knew you’d end up going out anyway).
- You’ve already spent some valuable coin on these first two drinks. In fact, you’ve probably gone for a more expensive option ‘cause you “didn’t think” you’d be out for the night. Why stop now? $$$$$$
- Two drinks isn’t nearly long enough for a proper catch up! May aswell just drink a load more rather than spreading out the two ey?
- There’s only enough for one-and-a-half glasses of vino each in a bottle, isn’t there? It’d be awkward not to get another bottle (and another).
- The surroundings start to look a lot more homely after a couple, and heading out in the cold towards the taxi rank can seem a bit of a chore. It’s probably for the best to shelter indoors and order another beverage.
- It only takes two sweet bevvies to set off the dancefloor craving; slutdropping in the middle of the quiet pre-10pm bar just isn’t acceptable.
- You can’t prize yourself away from your pals after two drinks, that’s just fucking rude! We all knew we were out for the night secretly anyway.
- Drink number three will bring out the louder, less composed you. The one who shouts ‘fuck it I’m buying the tequila’. Everyone loves tequila.
- When you wake up after a night of ‘casual drinks’ stinking of donner meat and vodka, it’s the third drink you’ll blame for your downfall.
Can you tell I’m missing boozing with this Dry January thing?