coming to terms with your teenage crimes against fashion

There comes a time in our lives when we must all make peace with our teenage self. Sure, that blue eyeshadow was a hideous error and your first boyfriend was a complete trashy fuckwit, but deep down we all know it’s these mistakes that have brought us to our (slightly) more balanced early/mid/late twenties.

It doesn’t make it any easier for the twenty-somethings of today that the younger generation currently going through puberty seem to be bypassing this fucking cringefest. Where are the rebellious year nines with their greasy hair and two-tone eyelids? Since when did 15 year olds know how to contour?!16976_396057550095_4664344_n

We are marginally fortunate in that most of us spent our teens on Bebo, or MySpace. Facebook was new and interesting, but not quite fancy enough to drag us from our Bulletin wars and ‘sharing the love’. This small mercy means that our TimeHops are relatively free of 13 year old us, and that during our early teens there were none of the intense pressures to look 19+ that the youth of today seem to feel. And thinking about it we totally looked good back then!!!! Ish. My own personal MySpace pic is there for your pleasure to the right.

The point of all this rambling is that we should all learn to embrace our awkward teenage faux pas. Who else will know the thrill of buying fringed camo pants and a Von Dutch tank top, completing the look with a scraped up greasy pony and a terrible attitude? Who else will rock chavvy-chic like a fucking boss and low key listen to Evanescence on repeat on their pink iPod Nano? That shit is far from embarrassing; it’s mint.

At least you’re getting more wear out of those Air Max 90s you rocked with flared jeans and a Carbrini hoody now, as they are totally back in fash.

Be thankful that you had the time to be an awkward, spotty teenager, as they seem to be a dying breed. Be at peace with the atrocities you committed against fashion in your youth, for you have now blossomed into a product of a corrosive consumer society fashion KILLA.

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