words of wisdom for people who can’t handle a cold (like me)

As hard as we try to avoid it, winter comes along once a year and brings with it a massive batch of horrible colds. For the less-than-graceful among us (me), that means a week of sniffling, complaining loudly to anyone who will listen and sometimes even some crocodile tears to persuade people to do stuff for me.

The way in which us Brits handle a cold is hilarious. It’s like man-flu for everyone; we all know it’s nothing serious but we still act like our world is ending. I’ve actually just recovered from one such cold (just in time for New Year’s beveraging, get in). It was the usual story, waking up feeling like some wanker has filled your head with cotton wool while you were in the land of nod.

After a few choice hours of wailing ‘why meeee’ to the heavens, I eventually stepped aside from my selfishness and managed to jot down a few choice pieces of wisdom which I and every other person who is crap at being ill needed to hear. And here they are, hot off the press:

  1. You will not be ill forever. No matter just how much it may seem that your runny nose will eventually leak your brain into your lap, the stream will one day dry up and you will feel human once more. Hang in there, baby.
  2. One day your airways will clear again. I find that when I get a cold, I start to appreciate just how much we take the power to breathe through our blessed little noses for granted. Literally writing this while taking in gigantic nosefuls of air to celebrate.
  3. Taking a sick day is not the end of the world, but it also might not end your illness. If you’re feeling like you’re truly at death’s door, taking a day off in bed to recover won’t send your life into freefall. Sleep is a powerful healer (or at least my mum told me so) and you’re sure to wake up feeling more refreshed, having been within reaching distance of the Kleenex all day. However, it’s important to remember that sick days really are fucking boring, and you’ll more than likely be dying to go back to work/school/gangster life after a couple of hours of Jeremy Kyle (which by the way is so so shit).
  4. It’s OK to stuff your face! Genuine advice from someone much smarter than both you and I put together put it out there that it’s advisable to ‘feed a cold’. Feed it! Excellent! Reaching for the largest chocolate bar in sight is sure to have you on your feet in no time (chocolate releases endorphins, it’s practically medicine). Having a cold is a great excuse to put that Christmas slow cooker to good use (I got one too!!); whack in a load of veg and tasty stuff and leave it all day for a perfectly lazy dinner which could actually lead to the light at the end of the tunnel.
  5. There are people much worse off than you. Whenever I contract a deadly cold I’m reminded by the catastrophe that is BBC News that there are plenty of people out there on our seven-billion-strong planet who have it much worse.

While I go to pieces in the face of a mere cold, three in one people are battling with life-threatening cancers, and they still have a smile on their face. One of the strongest people in my life at present is my Uncle Gary, who has remained upbeat throughout his current treatment for stomach cancer, and is an absolute babe. My housemates recently took a dip in the freezing cold sea to raise money for Leukaemia and Lymphoma research, as their close friend was diagnosed last year. She’s been doing some amazing work for the charity to help others in her situation and has raised nearly five grand to date, which is incred. The JustGiving page is right here for anyone who might want to donate!


I hope you all have a happy and healthy 2015 🙂

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