kevin mccallister for president

So, at the risk of going all BuzzFeed on everyone, I’m going to try out something a bit different here, and take a break from writing about politics and the weather (how fucking boring am I?).

Seen as though Christmas is looming just around the corner with it’s big sexy festive hat on, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about my absolutely favourite fictional character in the history of the world (besides Voldemort): Kevin McCallister.

As any self-respecting lover of crimbo films will be well aware, Kevin is the star of the Home Alone series, who was brought to life by Macaulay Culkin (in the good ones, anyway). Although Macaulay has grown out of his xmas booties (he’s thirty-fucking-four now, and touring the world playing none other than a kazoo in a band that sing about pizza – Macaulay I love you), Home Alone is still the best festive film that the world has to offer.

Now I know that is a big statement, and yes I am totally aware that films like Elf are strong contenders (I too answer the phone over Christmas with “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour?”). So to back-up my wild claims, I’ve harvested the best Kevin McCallister quotes that the internet has to offer, and slapped them together for your festive enjoyment. If any of you were doubting that Home Alone is absolutely fucking mint, you’re about to see the light.

Kevin is just like you and I on a Saturday night.

tumblr_nes4ii5aQ71szo3k9o1_500

He’s just as loyal to that strict healthy eating regime that you’re rocking…

tumblr_m3b8yiEAuS1r5a2sv

d0902620-822c-0131-3387-362987b335b5

anigif_enhanced-buzz-15999-1386041639-20

That could be me ridin’ dirty through the streets of East London.

Kevin knows the daily struggles of having to socialise with real people…

5-Home-Alone-600x270

And their stupidity when it comes to understanding the importance of pizza.

Y6Jq210

He’s got his priorities on point…

tumblr_mcy3jv5ddw1qakh43o1_500

And knows that personal hygiene should come first for all children left home alone on Christmas.

111

Kevin understands that sometimes we all need a little bit of time apart from our families, and he too can say a few things he maybe didn’t mean…

tumblr_me2n3nOTkt1qazx4ao2_500

But deep down he’s the sweetest and possibly the kindest kid in Chicago (and he’d give Dear Deidre a run for her money in the love-guru stakes).

tumblr_m80biuEdO81rsit18o1_500

On top of all this, though, Kevin McCallister is a complete crime-bashing badass.

tumblr_inline_nf4i9ksMLP1rvn1ta

So from me and Kevin…

anigif_enhanced-buzz-2966-1386717215-29

tumblr_mekngoOe3U1qa5etko2_500

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s