Ah, the early Internet. Throughout the nineties, it was a place of unexplored greatness stretching before us into the millenium, filled with the promise of Twittering, leaked nudes and viral videos of a badly behaved dog named Fenton.
Having been born in the early 90s, I missed out on much of the fun of the very early Internet, having (thankfully) spent my childhood in a technology-free bliss, out on my pogo stick pissing off the neighbours every day from 9am sharp, and playing British Bulldogs with the neighbourhood gang. Generation iPad, however, are not so lucky. Recent research has genuinely shown that more kids nowadays are comfortable on an iPad than know how to swim, tell the time or tie their fucking shoelaces.
The rapid development of smart technology and the rise of the Internet has completely changed the way we live; I’m currently sat at a computer with Twitter, Facebook and Youtube open, whilst playing Candy Crush on my iPhone (level 414 bitchez). Way back when I was a young teenager, however, the Internet was a completely different place, and the swankiest item of technology I owned was my PS1 and my (pink) Motorola flippy phone (hello Moto).
Although teens nowadays may feel like they’ve got it made, growing up in a world of technological wonder, they will never know the delights of the web in the noughties. Some of the early online greats – which are more than likely rotting in a dark corner of the Internet graveyard somewhere – are way better than all this new-fangled high-resolution interactive gaming shite.
Now I may not be ancient, but I do remember having to unplug the landline to connect to the Internet and that makes me pretty much a veteran. These past few days I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic for some of the late Internet greats, and so I’m going to show them a slice of the love and attention they deserve:
The undisputed king of social networking throughout the noughties, Bebo taught us just who our ‘other half’ was, how important it was to ‘share the love’ and just how many friendships could be destroyed by forgetting to include one of the gals in your ‘top friends’. There have been a few vicious rumours flying around that Bebo has closed its doors for good, but a quick peek at their website will tell you: Bebo is back. Watch this space.
- MSN Messenger
Until quite recently, MSN messenger was alive and well, hidden in the murky depths of live.com. MSN was the original and best chat software, from which many of us got our first and most iconic email address. I shit you not, my hotmail account was firstname.lastname@example.org, and I still put that down on spam registration forms (such as when I order a shitload of Domino’s pizza). I miss sending MSN nudges, and putting your current other half’s name between a pair of (L)’s in your MSN name, and filling said name with some meaningful lyrics (8) I’m not a girl, not yet a woman (*) (8) – you can’t do that shit on Facebook.
I’m really hoping that there are some people who visit this blog that played Neopets, ‘cause it was completely fucking awesome. Before Farmville and Angry Birds came along to ruin the minds of millions, virtual animals were created and nurtured on Neopets, a website to which I lost days of my life. It still lives on! Although I can’t remember my password which I’m gutted about.
Poor old MySpace suffered a fate worse than death when it was completely obliterated by the big-bollocks at Facebook. Before Zuckerberg and team came along, emo’s around the world lived a special kind of online existence which was a little less chavvy than Bebo – fighting Bulletin wars, taking selfies (long before it was in the dictionary) from a very high angle, and referring to themselves as shit like aliceANGUISH and ryanRIOT (I was mado;mush on both MySpace and Bebo). Some say that Myspace will have its day once again; I hope so.
There was a period of time in my mid-teens where everyone deemed their lives publishable. The social media frenzy was just getting started, and we had fuck all better to do in our ICT lessons, and so pretty much everyone I knew created a Piczo website about themselves. These embarrassing momentos of a younger, and in my case chavvier you lived on in the space of the Internet for years, until they were sadly all deactivated recently. Thank fuck.
Bring back dial-up connection! Actually I take that back, noone wants or needs dial-up. Send kids out on their bicycles to enjoy a normal childhood.
In other life news, I’ve been a bit of a Sam Smith addict for a while now, and now he’s re-released I’m Not The Only One with A$AP Rocky, and I’m obsessed.
Love you A$AP.