an open letter to 2016

Dear 2016,

I’ve been trying to avoid expelling my angst against you online because noone likes an online bully, but I think it’s time we addressed a few issues.

First and foremost: what the fuck?


That’s not even a rhetorical question, I would genuinely like to know what’s going through your twisted little mind. I remember way back when I was complaining about 2015 (shock) and demanding a better year this year, who knew I would be sitting here at the wrong end of my 20s a year later wishing for the safe haven of 2015? 2015 when Obama was still in the White House, Alan Rickman was safe and the whole world wasn’t a complete embarrassing shit-show…


I’d like to take a moment to ask: how dare you take Alan Rickman from us? And who knew you couldn’t take compassionate leave from work following the death of your one true icon? It was ruthless having Severus Snape cruelly snatched from our clutches without 2016 coming along and taking the real deal for good measure.

How do you explain Prince, 2016? And Bowie? How could you do that to my poor dear mum? Let’s hope we can keep David Attenborough safe until 2017 dawns or I’m likely to check out of this planet.

And we have to talk about The Donald too. In fact, let’s talk about America’s newest Vice President – and all-round fuckwit – Mike Pence, who’s been seemingly overshadowed by the big orange spectre of intolerance that is Donald Trump. Did you know that Mike Pence advocated the funding of conversion therapy? That he actively opposes abortion rights, marriage equality and fair pay for women and minorities? Amongst a whole host of other fucking disgusting political leanings, this guy defied a bill aimed at combatting rape in prisons. I actually don’t even have the words; this is the Vice President of the United States. There’s more that I literally can’t list without combusting into flames of frustration but you can check that out here if you want.


So yeah, beyond Pence the megaprick we’ve now found ourselves with Donald Trump as a world fucking leader. Again, 2016, what the fucking fuck? In a year where Orlando saw the deadliest shooting its country has ever experienced – directed by discriminatory hatred – they chose to elect Trump – a bigoted, intolerant buffoon of a human being – to guide them through the next four years of their country’s existence. Happy fucking days. Let’s not even mention Brexit.


2016 has been a year of police brutality, of children washing up on shores, of terror atrocities that stretch from east to west, of division and hatred and the triumph of fear.

Nice one 2016, you’ve been a true pleasure.

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