an open letter to 2016

Dear 2016,

I’ve been trying to avoid expelling my angst against you online because noone likes an online bully, but I think it’s time we addressed a few issues.

First and foremost: what the fuck?

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That’s not even a rhetorical question, I would genuinely like to know what’s going through your twisted little mind. I remember way back when I was complaining about 2015 (shock) and demanding a better year this year, who knew I would be sitting here at the wrong end of my 20s a year later wishing for the safe haven of 2015? 2015 when Obama was still in the White House, Alan Rickman was safe and the whole world wasn’t a complete embarrassing shit-show…

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I’d like to take a moment to ask: how dare you take Alan Rickman from us? And who knew you couldn’t take compassionate leave from work following the death of your one true icon? It was ruthless having Severus Snape cruelly snatched from our clutches without 2016 coming along and taking the real deal for good measure.

How do you explain Prince, 2016? And Bowie? How could you do that to my poor dear mum? Let’s hope we can keep David Attenborough safe until 2017 dawns or I’m likely to check out of this planet.

And we have to talk about The Donald too. In fact, let’s talk about America’s newest Vice President – and all-round fuckwit – Mike Pence, who’s been seemingly overshadowed by the big orange spectre of intolerance that is Donald Trump. Did you know that Mike Pence advocated the funding of conversion therapy? That he actively opposes abortion rights, marriage equality and fair pay for women and minorities? Amongst a whole host of other fucking disgusting political leanings, this guy defied a bill aimed at combatting rape in prisons. I actually don’t even have the words; this is the Vice President of the United States. There’s more that I literally can’t list without combusting into flames of frustration but you can check that out here if you want.

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So yeah, beyond Pence the megaprick we’ve now found ourselves with Donald Trump as a world fucking leader. Again, 2016, what the fucking fuck? In a year where Orlando saw the deadliest shooting its country has ever experienced – directed by discriminatory hatred – they chose to elect Trump – a bigoted, intolerant buffoon of a human being – to guide them through the next four years of their country’s existence. Happy fucking days. Let’s not even mention Brexit.

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2016 has been a year of police brutality, of children washing up on shores, of terror atrocities that stretch from east to west, of division and hatred and the triumph of fear.

Nice one 2016, you’ve been a true pleasure.

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monday morning #2

So I wrote a post not so long ago when I started keeping this blog about Monday morning. It kinda digressed somewhat into a monologue about that time I went to see Shamu (no h8) and suffered from chafing and embarrassment for the rest of the day though, and so I’m guessing its alright for me to double up on post inspo and talk once again about the glorious Monday morning vibez. Continue reading “monday morning #2”

the liebster award

OK so as I mentioned yesterday, I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award (and if people want the evidence that I’m not just making this shit up, you can check out the glorious nomination itself on this here post). Thank you kindly to Laura from Owning Your Okayness once again for ever taking the time to read anything I write, and for bothering to give me a shout out. It’s truly lovely.

I’ve knocked together some answers to the questions I was asked by Laura, and hope that they’re not quite as boring as they sound in my head. I’m not too good with answering questions on myself or making myself sound interesting – I was always wank at that ‘stand up and tell us something interesting about yourself’ game in school. Continue reading “the liebster award”

return of the dark lord

After a ten-day stint on the sofa weeping at Frozen and destroying all my hard work in the gym and on my diet, I’ve now returned to full strength for long enough at least to write myself a little number for the blog, like a fetal Lord Voldemort reborn from a cauldron with the help of his loyal servant Wormtail (represented in this metaphor by antibiotics). Continue reading “return of the dark lord”

a week of ups and downs

So I’ve come to the conclusion over the past few months that the world has gone entirely mad. People think it’s acceptable to send death threats to other humans for being successful (I’m looking at you all you people who want Justin Bieber to die; he’s a 20 year old boy for fucks sake), Tony Blair, warmongerer of the decade, was named philanthropist of the fucking year in 2014, and I was yesterday refused service for a scratch card at sainos, and we all know the supermarkets are in the shit anyway without refusing their customers. Continue reading “a week of ups and downs”