fuck dry january

We’ve all got that one annoying mate who decides when January comes around that a month off the sauce is somehow going to cleanse their souls and turn them into a health goddess. I get it, I really do. We all overdo it on the pigs in blankets over Christmas and come out the other side of December with slightly more padding than we intended to. We all chug 14 bottles of wine a day in the name of everything that’s festive. We all feel rotten as fuck after spending £3,529 on a G&T down the local NYE party and we most defo all feel the pain of the marathon wait for January pay day. But if you think that 30 days on the wagon – and on your high moral horse – is going to cleanse you of those xmas toxins you are fuckin barmy. Continue reading “fuck dry january”

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birthdays and sunsets

So yes I may have been slack at posting this week, but that’s only because it has taken me until now to stop crying with laughter. Easter weekend was as always a treat, with London delivering some delicious sunshine for all to enjoy even on Bank Holiday Monday which is usually a load of rainy dreary shite. Continue reading “birthdays and sunsets”

send help: i have no common sense

I’ve always been told I’m a pretty clever person. From a young age I had my head in a book (mainly Harry Potter) and there was actually a point (before my degree) when I considered getting a B as a failure. Yeah, I was that guy.

However, it has occurred to me as I approach my mid-twenties with caution that book smarts may not be all they’re cracked up to be. Perhaps I am an anomaly, but it would seem that being academically clever puts you just out of reach of common sense. I mean, I could hold a conversation about the structure of Milton’s Paradise Lost, but chances are I couldn’t give you a hand with navigating a washing machine. I’m the kind of person that walks into lamp posts on a regular basis. Continue reading “send help: i have no common sense”

getting fruity on new year’s eve

So tomorrow is the last day of 2014, and it’s time to gear up for all of the ‘new year, new me’ statuses. I know I might seem a bit down on the old status writers at present but positivity never made for a good read in my experience.

Anyway, tomorrow marks New Year’s Eve, a time for spending extortionate amounts of money on champers and getting bevvied up to ring in 2015, and it’s set to be pretty sweet. Being from a small city where everyone does the same thing week in week out in the same places, I’ve been used to standing around outside on NYE, waiting for a mis-timed countdown to let us all know it’s time to hug and smooch anyone and everyone in sight, to then realise that it is, in fact, still only 11.57. Continue reading “getting fruity on new year’s eve”