fuck dry january

We’ve all got that one annoying mate who decides when January comes around that a month off the sauce is somehow going to cleanse their souls and turn them into a health goddess. I get it, I really do. We all overdo it on the pigs in blankets over Christmas and come out the other side of December with slightly more padding than we intended to. We all chug 14 bottles of wine a day in the name of everything that’s festive. We all feel rotten as fuck after spending £3,529 on a G&T down the local NYE party and we most defo all feel the pain of the marathon wait for January pay day. But if you think that 30 days on the wagon – and on your high moral horse – is going to cleanse you of those xmas toxins you are fuckin barmy. Continue reading “fuck dry january”

advice for newfound Beliebers

Closet Beliebers the world over are breathing a collective sigh of relief as news breaks that it is finally acceptable to like Justin Bieber. Continue reading “advice for newfound Beliebers”

a blog post about blogging

So it has come to my attention that I’ve been completely neglecting my blog. Like if this blog was a child I would be sent down for gross neglect and/or murder as I’ve paid absolutely fuck all attention to it in almost three months. My last blog entry was – of course – thrilling and hilarious, and yet i still find myself here in 2016 having failed to pen a follow up. How dare I deprive all my hundreds of thousands of avid readers??? Side note: I do not in any way have hundreds of thousands of readers – avid or otherwise. Sob. Continue reading “a blog post about blogging”

my favourite conspiracy theories

The world is full of some absolutely fucking crackers conspiracy theories, and they are pretty much all hilarious. That is, discarding the ones that are pretty scary. From ‘Paul’s Dead’ to the ever-impending Chemtrails madness, madheads the world over have been serving up batch after batch of quality theories around anything and everything for all of time, as far as I know. Continue reading “my favourite conspiracy theories”

a harry potter epiphany

So in the long dark days of the summer my mind tends to spend most of its time thinking about Harry Potter and chocolate. Sometimes at the same time. This has led me to have an epiphany so blowing of the mind that I felt the need to resurrect my blog simply to discuss it. Even if noone comments I might just start commenting on the post anyway with more HP musings as they enter my brain. Continue reading “a harry potter epiphany”

birthdays and sunsets

So yes I may have been slack at posting this week, but that’s only because it has taken me until now to stop crying with laughter. Easter weekend was as always a treat, with London delivering some delicious sunshine for all to enjoy even on Bank Holiday Monday which is usually a load of rainy dreary shite. Continue reading “birthdays and sunsets”


So it would appear that spending two weeks exercising regularly and eating well has had the opposite effect on me than would be expected; I’m currently feeling like I’ve been run over by the Hogwarts Express and have my own personal Dementor setting up camp in the corner of my bedroom.

So as you can probably tell, I’ve been taking a short writing hiatus (I am so Tom De Longe from Blink) and will return to my glorious blogging throne in fire and blood once I am finished watching Mulan and eating nutritious Supernoods for strength. Continue reading “apologies”