Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived

Mr and Mrs Dursley are anything but perfectly fucking normal, thank you very much.

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So let’s kick this off with the cold, hard facts: Mr and Mrs Dursley are anything but perfectly fucking normal, thank you very much. They’re a pair of abusive morons, to be frank.

Continue reading “Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived”

10 perfect dinner guests

So I’m a big fan of dinner. I love dining out perhaps too much, and just generally have an eternal love affair with food.

I have probably lost a good few days of my life to watching episode after episode of Come Dine With Me (which is complete comedy gold), and it does get me thinking about just who I’d like to have around the dinner table if I was lucky enough to be a contestant. Ever played the perfect dinner guest game? It’s pretty simple. Continue reading “10 perfect dinner guests”

bedtime romance

Is anyone else an avid sleep-talker?

At the risk of talking about one of the most boring subjects on the planet, I’m going to talk once again about myself (shock) and about the issues I have with sleep-talking.

Now when we’re asleep, we’re supposedly off in another world; Dumbledore would have us think that “in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own”. Dreams boggle my mind, quite frankly, as I just don’t get which part of the mind dictates how many times my subconscious self can pine for donuts and snogs with Ron Weasley. Continue reading “bedtime romance”