So on Wednesday I had a bit of a meltdown day. You know the kind; it seems like the world is actively trying to get in the way of anything good happening to you, and you spend the day wishing that everyone and everything would just fuck off. I’d had a couple of cocktails the night before which probably didn’t help anything, and to make matters even worse my eyebrows looked like shit, which was always going to put me in a bad mood. Continue reading “…”

peri-peri complain shame

Like most of the country, I really love a Nando’s. In fact, Nando’s is probably my one true love, and if I could marry it, I would. Now, I’m a pretty chilled person, and having worked in customer service myself I know exactly how soul-destroying working with the public can be. When I was at Topshop I developed a slow but very intense hatred for people in general, and honestly I don’t think I could ever put myself through that again. However pissed off I was, however, I still knew that my job was to smile politely and make awkward small-talk, even when I didn’t want to, and I think a few people who work in customer service seem to forget that. Continue reading “peri-peri complain shame”

10 times you were the grinch in 2014

Christmas is proper good innit. It’s acceptable to sit around in your pants, eating chocolate orange and watching shit TV. Like I’ve mentioned before, the Christmas spirit is all around us and we’re all a big ball of light and fun for three weeks in the calendar year. Continue reading “10 times you were the grinch in 2014”

berghain says nein: a guide to berlin

When you go your separate ways from your childhood bezzie for university, it can go one of two ways: you could savour that close bond and talk all day e’rryday over Skype and Whatsapp, or you could become the shittest friends ever who see each other once a year. My most fave homie on the planet and I went our separate ways nearly five years ago, when he went off to pursue dentistry in the far corners of the universe (Newcastle), and as we’re pretty shit at being in contact with each other, we only reunite once in about eight blue moons (love you Ash hun). Continue reading “berghain says nein: a guide to berlin”

the unofficial rules of london underground

So somehow we’ve reached mid-December, although I swear last week it was the beginning of October. Alas, it seems to be true that the older you get, the faster time goes (and I’m only 23 so it must be a blur to anyone over 30). So far this month, we’ve gotten excited by the war of the Christmas adverts (I’m team Sainsbury’s), we’ve marvelled at all the festive lights flying up around the country, and we’ve drank copious amounts of mulled alcohol (it’s Christmas after all, rude not to really). What I’m trying to say is that the festive spirit is in full swing; Santa Claus is coming to town in less than two weeks! Continue reading “the unofficial rules of london underground”

weekend robbery

So whereas yesterday I woke up feeling like P Diddy, things have taken a slight turn today and I’ve awoken feeling a little more like Kerry Katona – skint. Now, you can be forgiven for thinking that it’s my own fault I’m feeling brassic on this Sunday afternoon; I’m the first to admit that I’m not the most financially savvy girl on the planet. Some (most) Sundays I wake up feeling robbed, having spent a small fortune on drinking voddy ‘til the early hours. But this Sunday was something a little special: I woke up having actually been robbed. Continue reading “weekend robbery”

tricking people into thinking you don’t have shit hair

So I woke up this morning feeling like P Diddy. And not ‘cause I brushed my teeth with JD before I went to sleep, but cos I agree with him that Drake needs a few punches if he’s flirting with your wife. Continue reading “tricking people into thinking you don’t have shit hair”

christmas party etiquette

So as we get a little older, and life (that cruel mistress) forces us into the world of work, there comes a time when we resign ourselves to the idea that we’re probably getting very a bit boring. Hangovers become three-day battles, night’s out actually feel like a chore (“you mean, you want me to leave the sofa for a whole evening?!”)  and you find yourself getting excited by the Great British Bake Off (love ya Mary you foxy bitch). Continue reading “christmas party etiquette”

kevin mccallister for president

So, at the risk of going all BuzzFeed on everyone, I’m going to try out something a bit different here, and take a break from writing about politics and the weather (how fucking boring am I?).

Seen as though Christmas is looming just around the corner with it’s big sexy festive hat on, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about my absolutely favourite fictional character in the history of the world (besides Voldemort): Kevin McCallister. Continue reading “kevin mccallister for president”