The internet is a glorious place. One where you can indulge in videos of cats playing with slinkies for hours on end, or stalk your fave z-list celeb’s every move (Michelle McManus’ Twitter feed, everyone). It can also be pretty soul destroying, turning almost every song you ever will like into a plethora of wanky parodies until you hate the song and refuse to believe you ever did like it…
a harry potter epiphany
So in the long dark days of the summer my mind tends to spend most of its time thinking about Harry Potter and chocolate. Sometimes at the same time. This has led me to have an epiphany so blowing of the mind that I felt the need to resurrect my blog simply to discuss it. Even if noone comments I might just start commenting on the post anyway with more HP musings as they enter my brain. Continue reading “a harry potter epiphany”
birthdays and sunsets
So yes I may have been slack at posting this week, but that’s only because it has taken me until now to stop crying with laughter. Easter weekend was as always a treat, with London delivering some delicious sunshine for all to enjoy even on Bank Holiday Monday which is usually a load of rainy dreary shite. Continue reading “birthdays and sunsets”
#ZaynPain & other more sobering events
So another week has gone by on our glorious planet, and the teenage population has gone into complete meltdown (along with a few more tragic older Directioners). Young honeys around the world are feeling the #ZaynPain and letting us all know about it. Literally everywhere. Like, it’s inescapable. The fans have now decided that they’re going to buy One Direction, like the boys are a real commodity for sale. Someone has actually done the maths so it seems legit. Maths = legit. Continue reading “#ZaynPain & other more sobering events”
clarkson, Kanye and eclipse
So I realise that I have been entirely slack on this whole blogging thing, and many of you may have forgotten just how wonderful and genius I truly am. The (sad) truth is, I have run out of amusing things to tell you and embarrassing stories to recount. Continue reading “clarkson, Kanye and eclipse”
monday morning #2
So I wrote a post not so long ago when I started keeping this blog about Monday morning. It kinda digressed somewhat into a monologue about that time I went to see Shamu (no h8) and suffered from chafing and embarrassment for the rest of the day though, and so I’m guessing its alright for me to double up on post inspo and talk once again about the glorious Monday morning vibez. Continue reading “monday morning #2”
the state of female double standards: Beyoncé’s L’Oréal pictures
It’s so hard to escape the trending columns this week, with so much showbizzy goodness to distract us from social and political monopolisation. Just to clarify: I’m totally team Amber Rose in the Muva vs. Khloe Kardash spat; there’s no escaping that Tyga should probably be helping out with his baby mama and not getting stuck into a 17 year old, but that’s just my opinion. Continue reading “the state of female double standards: Beyoncé’s L’Oréal pictures”
giving up sugary shite (again) for lent
Today my morning has been sponsored by nutella, sugar and lemon juice, much like the mornings of many of us around the glorious United Kingdom. Our office has been overrun with sugar rushing officey types as we all celebrate (perhaps obtusely) because some guy who may or may not have existed and is now Kanye West took a trip into the desert to fast and pray. My morning looked a little like this: Continue reading “giving up sugary shite (again) for lent”
science says it’s ok that i’m late for everything
When it comes to just about anything in life, the rule seems to be that if science says it’s OK, it’s OK. For example, if nutritional science is telling you that it’s OK and even encouragable to be eating a blend of kale, spinach and broccoli for your brekkie, you run out and bag yourself a nutri bullet and fill that shit with anything green, in the hope that the gods of science will approve and make you slim, fit and healthy.
I for one am not one to argue with science (although I don’t own a nutri bullet and would prefer to eat a brownie than a handful of kale). We as humans have a lot to thank science for; the pillheads among us for their narcotics, the wounded among us for their medical prowess and ability to ease pain and heal, and now the lazy amongst us for their indissoluble theory as to why some people (me) are always late. Continue reading “science says it’s ok that i’m late for everything”
becoming a work of art this valentine’s day
The thing I suck most at in life is being bad at things. While that might be an oxymoron, what it really means is that I am the worst most sore loser in the United Kingdom, probably; I tantrum when I can’t grasp how to do something and end up winding myself up even more. If you’ve read my post about my skiing incident, you’ll probably have gathered this by now; it’s not the most attractive trait in a person I’m sure. Late last year, when I moved into my beautiful house, I bought a shit load of Ikea furniture to swag out my room with and was fuming when it all arrived flatpacked – being less than gifted with common sense or with any practical skills, there was no chance I was getting any of it up myself. In fact, I tried to screw one of the screws into its corresponding little hole and failed, started crying, and ditched the whole job for my boyfriend to do.
One of the great disappointments of my life (woe is me) is that I’m truly shite at art. I could write you a great description of someone pretty easily and you’d probably get an alright idea in your mind of who I was on about (I would hope) but if I got out the paint brushes and attempted to draw them you’d end up with something like this that I just whacked out on Paint: Continue reading “becoming a work of art this valentine’s day”
madeye 