a guide to Prague

On my quest to digitally record anything remotely interesting that happened to me last year – bear in mind my memory is completely shit – I found myself reminiscing about May’s trip to Prague. As my first visit to the stag do capital of Europe I will forever look back on it not as the trip when I saw a legion of pissed up Brits abroad shaking their cocks around with a picturesque background – surprisingly we saw no genitalia – but as the very first time I went abroad and forgot my mother fucking hair straighteners. Continue reading “a guide to Prague”

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advice for newfound Beliebers

Closet Beliebers the world over are breathing a collective sigh of relief as news breaks that it is finally acceptable to like Justin Bieber. Continue reading “advice for newfound Beliebers”

a blog post about blogging

So it has come to my attention that I’ve been completely neglecting my blog. Like if this blog was a child I would be sent down for gross neglect and/or murder as I’ve paid absolutely fuck all attention to it in almost three months. My last blog entry was – of course – thrilling and hilarious, and yet i still find myself here in 2016 having failed to pen a follow up. How dare I deprive all my hundreds of thousands of avid readers??? Side note: I do not in any way have hundreds of thousands of readers – avid or otherwise. Sob. Continue reading “a blog post about blogging”

lessons learned from a year in London

It’s amazing what living in a new city will do to you, and London is more than likely going to turn anyone who moves there into a bit of a cynic. I’ve now lived in London for over a year – not counting the three months I spent commuting from Kent – and I finally feel like I sort of maybe know my way about (ish). Being born and bred in lovely Yorkshire and then branching out and going to uni – also in Yorkshire – I find I’m not the most cultured of people, or the most world savvy (this is a lie I am both cultured and savvy even though I’m not even sure what savvy means). Continue reading “lessons learned from a year in London”

coming to terms with your teenage crimes against fashion

There comes a time in our lives when we must all make peace with our teenage self. Sure, that blue eyeshadow was a hideous error and your first boyfriend was a complete trashy fuckwit, but deep down we all know it’s these mistakes that have brought us to our (slightly) more balanced early/mid/late twenties. Continue reading “coming to terms with your teenage crimes against fashion”

a plea for Harry Potter-related help

If there’s two things in this world I enjoy, they are Harry Potter and boozing. Like many others (I hope), I grew up with Harry, Ron and Hermione. I waited patiently for my Hogwarts letter on my 11th birthday, I queued with countless other Muggle-borns to purchase my yearly novel, and I suffered in indignity when the time came to say goodbye following the final film.

Not one to let go of anything dear to my heart, I have since amassed a collection of four wands – two of which I lost on nights out and had to re-purchase – a Slytherin robe, six Harry Potter tattoos and countless themed paraphernalia. I like Harry Potter. Whilst on this collective journey, I have also honed a taste for cocktails of all varieties and when two loves go hand in hand it is hard to ignore the ignition of the heart.

So once again, Harry (or whoever you may be), I must ask too much of you…

Should you have a spare two minutes could you please visit my delicious Google forms page and help me with some market research? It may eventually lead to you receiving your own Hogwarts letter and infinite witchy good karma.

If you click RIGHT HERE it will take you to the form 🙂 FANKS!!!!

a guide to pretending to adult for people who can’t adult at all

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt since ‘growing up’ and ‘becoming an adult’ it’s that literally nobody has a fucking clue what they’re doing. Quite literally, everyone is just winging it. That’s straight up real talk: from the CEOs to the shelf stackers, noone really and truly knows how to adult, and yet they manage to keep up the façade and convince other people they’re doing alright. Continue reading “a guide to pretending to adult for people who can’t adult at all”